APDL Eductation Resources/APDL Eductation Resources.iso/text/authors/poe/fourbeasts/FOURBEASTS

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                       1850
      FOUR BEASTS IN ONE- THE HOMO-CAMELEOPARD
                  by Edgar Allan Poe

               Chacun a ses vertus.
                                 CREBILLON'S Xerxes.

ANTIOCHUS EPIPHANES is very generally looked upon as the Gog of the
prophet Ezekiel. This honor is, however, more properly attributable to
Cambyses, the son of Cyrus. And, indeed, the character of the Syrian
monarch does by no means stand in need of any adventitious
embellishment. His accession to the throne, or rather his usurpation of
the sovereignty, a hundred and seventy-one years before the coming of
Christ; his attempt to plunder the temple of Diana at Ephesus; his
implacable hostility to the Jews; his pollution of the Holy of Holies;
and his miserable death at Taba, after a tumultuous reign of eleven
years, are circumstances of a prominent kind, and therefore more
generally noticed by the historians of his time than the impious,
dastardly, cruel, silly, and whimsical achievements which make up the
sum total of his private life and reputation.


Let us suppose, gentle reader, that it is now the year of the world
three thousand eight hundred and thirty, and let us, for a few minutes,
imagine ourselves at that most grotesque habitation of man, the
remarkable city of Antioch. To be sure there were, in Syria and other
countries, sixteen cities of that appellation, besides the one to which
I more particularly allude. But ours is that which went by the name of
Antiochia Epidaphne, from its vicinity to the little village of Daphne,
where stood a temple to that divinity. It was built (although about this
matter there is some dispute) by Seleucus Nicanor, the first king of the
country after Alexander the Great, in memory of his father Antiochus,
and became immediately the residence of the Syrian monarchy. In the
flourishing times of the Roman Empire, it was the ordinary station of
the prefect of the eastern provinces; and many of the emperors of the
queen city (among whom may be mentioned, especially, Verus and Valens)
spent here the greater part of their time. But I perceive we have
arrived at the city itself. Let us ascend this battlement, and throw our
eyes upon the town and neighboring country.

"What broad and rapid river is that which forces its way, with
innumerable falls, through the mountainous wilderness, and finally
through the wilderness of buildings?"

That is the Orontes, and it is the only water in sight, with the
exception of the Mediterranean, which stretches, like a broad mirror,
about twelve miles off to the southward. Every one has seen the
Mediterranean; but let me tell you, there are few who have had a peep at
Antioch. By few, I mean, few who, like you and me, have had, at the same
time, the advantages of a modern education. Therefore cease to regard
that sea, and give your whole attention to the mass of houses that lie
beneath us. You will remember that it is now the year of the world three
thousand eight hundred and thirty. Were it later- for example, were it
the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and forty-five, we should be
deprived of this extraordinary spectacle. In the nineteenth century
Antioch is- that is to say, Antioch will be- in a lamentable state of
decay. It will have been, by that time, totally destroyed, at three
different periods, by three successive earthquakes. Indeed, to say the
truth, what little of its former self may then remain, will be found in
so desolate and ruinous a state that the patriarch shall have removed
his residence to Damascus. This is well. I see you profit by my advice,
and are making the most of your time in inspecting the premises- in


      -satisfying your eyes

  With the memorials and the things of fame

  That most renown this city.-


I beg pardon; I had forgotten that Shakespeare will not flourish for
seventeen hundred and fifty years to come. But does not the appearance
of Epidaphne justify me in calling it grotesque?

"It is well fortified; and in this respect is as much indebted to nature
as to art."

Very true.

"There are a prodigious number of stately palaces."

There are.

"And the numerous temples, sumptuous and magnificent, may bear
comparison with the most lauded of antiquity."

All this I must acknowledge. Still there is an infinity of mud huts, and
abominable hovels. We cannot help perceiving abundance of filth in every
kennel, and, were it not for the over-powering fumes of idolatrous
incense, I have no doubt we should find a most intolerable stench. Did
you ever behold streets so insufferably narrow, or houses so
miraculously tall? What gloom their shadows cast upon the ground! It is
well the swinging lamps in those endless colonnades are kept burning
throughout the day; we should otherwise have the darkness of Egypt in
the time of her desolation.

"It is certainly a strange place! What is the meaning of yonder singular
building? See! it towers above all others, and lies to the eastward of
what I take to be the royal palace."

That is the new Temple of the Sun, who is adored in Syria under the
title of Elah Gabalah. Hereafter a very notorious Roman Emperor will
institute this worship in Rome, and thence derive a cognomen,
Heliogabalus. I dare say you would like to take a peep at the divinity
of the temple. You need not look up at the heavens; his Sunship is not
there- at least not the Sunship adored by the Syrians. That deity will
be found in the interior of yonder building. He is worshipped under the
figure of a large stone pillar terminating at the summit in a cone or
pyramid, whereby is denoted Fire.

"Hark- behold!- who can those ridiculous beings be, half naked, with
their faces painted, shouting and gesticulating to the rabble?"

Some few are mountebanks. Others more particularly belong to the race of
philosophers. The greatest portion, however- those especially who
belabor the populace with clubs- are the principal courtiers of the
palace, executing as in duty bound, some laudable comicality of the
king's.

"But what have we here? Heavens! the town is swarming with wild beasts!
How terrible a spectacle!- how dangerous a peculiarity!"

Terrible, if you please; but not in the least degree dangerous. Each
animal if you will take the pains to observe, is following, very
quietly, in the wake of its master. Some few, to be sure, are led with a
rope about the neck, but these are chiefly the lesser or timid species.
The lion, the tiger, and the leopard are entirely without restraint.
They have been trained without difficulty to their present profession,
and attend upon their respective owners in the capacity of
valets-de-chambre. It is true, there are occasions when Nature asserts
her violated dominions;- but then the devouring of a man-at-arms, or the
throttling of a consecrated bull, is a circumstance of too little moment
to be more than hinted at in Epidaphne.

"But what extraordinary tumult do I hear? Surely this is a loud noise
even for Antioch! It argues some commotion of unusual interest."

Yes- undoubtedly. The king has ordered some novel spectacle- some
gladiatorial exhibition at the hippodrome- or perhaps the massacre of
the Scythian prisoners- or the conflagration of his new palace- or the
tearing down of a handsome temple- or, indeed, a bonfire of a few Jews.
The uproar increases. Shouts of laughter ascend the skies. The air
becomes dissonant with wind instruments, and horrible with clamor of a
million throats. Let us descend, for the love of fun, and see what is
going on! This way- be careful! Here we are in the principal street,
which is called the street of Timarchus. The sea of people is coming
this way, and we shall find a difficulty in stemming the tide. They are
pouring through the alley of Heraclides, which leads directly from the
palace;- therefore the king is most probably among the rioters. Yes;- I
hear the shouts of the herald proclaiming his approach in the pompous
phraseology of the East. We shall have a glimpse of his person as he
passes by the temple of Ashimah. Let us ensconce ourselves in the
vestibule of the sanctuary; he will be here anon. In the meantime let us
survey this image. What is it? Oh! it is the god Ashimah in proper
person. You perceive, however, that he is neither a lamb, nor a goat,
nor a satyr, neither has he much resemblance to the Pan of the
Arcadians. Yet all these appearances have been given- I beg pardon- will
be given- by the learned of future ages, to the Ashimah of the Syrians.
Put on your spectacles, and tell me what it is. What is it?

"Bless me! it is an ape!"

True- a baboon; but by no means the less a deity. His name is a
derivation of the Greek Simia- what great fools are antiquarians! But
see!- see!- yonder scampers a ragged little urchin. Where is he going?
What is he bawling about? What does he say? Oh! he says the king is
coming in triumph; that he is dressed in state; that he has just
finished putting to death, with his own hand, a thousand chained
Israelitish prisoners! For this exploit the ragamuffin is lauding him to
the skies. Hark! here comes a troop of a similar description. They have
made a Latin hymn upon the valor of the king, and are singing it as they
go:

  Mille, mille, mille,
  Mille, mille, mille,
  Decollavimus, unus homo!
  Mille, mille, mille, mille, decollavimus!
  Mille, mille, mille,
  Vivat qui mille mille occidit!
  Tantum vini habet nemo
  Quantum sanguinis effudit!*

Which may be thus paraphrased:

  A thousand, a thousand, a thousand,
  A thousand, a thousand, a thousand,
  We, with one warrior, have slain!
  A thousand, a thousand, a thousand, a thousand.
  Sing a thousand over again!
      Soho!- let us sing
      Long life to our king,
  Who knocked over a thousand so fine!
      Soho!- let us roar,
      He has given us more
      Red gallons of gore
  Than all Syria can furnish of wine!

* Flavius Vospicus says, that the hymn here introduced was sung by the
rabble upon the occasion of Aurelian, in the Sarmatic war, having slain,
with his own hand, nine hundred and fifty of the enemy.


"Do you hear that flourish of trumpets?"

Yes: the king is coming! See! the people are aghast with admiration, and
lift up their eyes to the heavens in reverence. He comes;- he is
coming;- there he is!

"Who?- where?- the king?- do not behold him- cannot say that I perceive
him."

Then you must be blind.

"Very possible. Still I see nothing but a tumultuous mob of idiots and
madmen, who are busy in prostrating themselves before a gigantic
cameleopard, and endeavoring to obtain a kiss of the animal's hoofs.
See! the beast has very justly kicked one of the rabble over- and
another- and another- and another. Indeed, I cannot help admiring the
animal for the excellent use he is making of his feet."

Rabble, indeed!- why these are the noble and free citizens of Epidaphne!
Beasts, did you say?- take care that you are not overheard. Do you not
perceive that the animal has the visage of a man? Why, my dear sir, that
cameleopard is no other than Antiochus Epiphanes, Antiochus the
Illustrious, King of Syria, and the most potent of all the autocrats of
the East! It is true, that he is entitled, at times, Antiochus Epimanes-
Antiochus the madman- but that is because all people have not the
capacity to appreciate his merits. It is also certain that he is at
present ensconced in the hide of a beast, and is doing his best to play
the part of a cameleopard; but this is done for the better sustaining
his dignity as king. Besides, the monarch is of gigantic stature, and
the dress is therefore neither unbecoming nor over large. We may,
however, presume he would not have adopted it but for some occasion of
especial state. Such, you will allow, is the massacre of a thousand
Jews. With how superior a dignity the monarch perambulates on all fours!
His tail, you perceive, is held aloft by his two principal concubines,
Elline and Argelais; and his whole appearance would be infinitely
prepossessing, were it not for the protuberance of his eyes, which will
certainly start out of his head, and the queer color of his face, which
has become nondescript from the quantity of wine he has swallowed. Let
us follow him to the hippodrome, whither he is proceeding, and listen to
the song of triumph which he is commencing:

  Who is king but Epiphanes?
    Say- do you know?
  Who is king but Epiphanes?
    Bravo!- bravo!
  There is none but Epiphanes,
    No- there is none:
  So tear down the temples,
    And put out the sun!

Well and strenuously sung! The populace are hailing him 'Prince of
Poets,' as well as 'Glory of the East,' 'Delight of the Universe,' and
'Most Remarkable of Cameleopards.' They have encored his effusion, and
do you hear?- he is singing it over again. When he arrives at the
hippodrome, he will be crowned with the poetic wreath, in anticipation
of his victory at the approaching Olympics.

"But, good Jupiter! what is the matter in the crowd behind us?"

Behind us, did you say?- oh! ah!- I perceive. My friend, it is well that
you spoke in time. Let us get into a place of safety as soon as
possible. Here!- let us conceal ourselves in the arch of this aqueduct,
and I will inform you presently of the origin of the commotion. It has
turned out as I have been anticipating. The singular appearance of the
cameleopard and the head of a man, has, it seems, given offence to the
notions of propriety entertained, in general, by the wild animals
domesticated in the city. A mutiny has been the result; and, as is usual
upon such occasions, all human efforts will be of no avail in quelling
the mob. Several of the Syrians have already been devoured; but the
general voice of the four-footed patriots seems to be for eating up the
cameleopard. 'The Prince of Poets,' therefore, is upon his hinder legs,
running for his life. His courtiers have left him in the lurch, and his
concubines have followed so excellent an example. 'Delight of the
Universe,' thou art in a sad predicament! 'Glory of the East,' thou art
in danger of mastication! Therefore never regard so piteously thy tail;
it will undoubtedly be draggled in the mud, and for this there is no
help. Look not behind thee, then, at its unavoidable degradation; but
take courage, ply thy legs with vigor, and scud for the hippodrome!
Remember that thou art Antiochus Epiphanes. Antiochus the Illustrious!-
also 'Prince of Poets,' 'Glory of the East,' 'Delight of the Universe,'
and 'Most Remarkable of Cameleopards!' Heavens! what a power of speed
thou art displaying! What a capacity for leg-bail thou art developing!
Run, Prince!- Bravo, Epiphanes! Well done, Cameleopard!- Glorious
Antiochus!- He runs!- he leaps!- he flies! Like an arrow from a catapult
he approaches the hippodrome! He leaps!- he shrieks!- he is there! This
is well; for hadst thou, 'Glory of the East,' been half a second longer
in reaching the gates of the Amphitheatre, there is not a bear's cub in
Epidaphne that would not have had a nibble at thy carcase. Let us be
off- let us take our departure!- for we shall find our delicate modern
ears unable to endure the vast uproar which is about to commence in
celebration of the king's escape! Listen! it has already commenced.
See!- the whole town is topsy-turvy.

"Surely this is the most populous city of the East! What a wilderness of
people! what a jumble of all ranks and ages! what a multiplicity of
sects and nations! what a variety of costumes! what a Babel of
languages! what a screaming of beasts! what a tinkling of instruments!
what a parcel of philosophers!"

Come let us be off.

"Stay a moment! I see a vast hubbub in the hippodrome; what is the
meaning of it, I beseech you?"

That?- oh, nothing! The noble and free citizens of Epidaphne being, as
they declare, well satisfied of the faith, valor, wisdom, and divinity
of their king, and having, moreover, been eye-witnesses of his late
superhuman agility, do think it no more than their duty to invest his
brows (in addition to the poetic crown) with the wreath of victory in
the footrace- a wreath which it is evident he must obtain at the
celebration of the next Olympiad, and which, therefore, they now give
him in advance.



                          THE END